80s Epic Movies: The Power of Independence
Recently, I watched a few classic 80s movies with my kids: Flight of the Navigator, The NeverEnding Story, and Labyrinth. One thing that stood out to them was how much freedom the kids in these stories had. They noticed that the characters were independent, largely figuring out their own paths, and parents were rarely present. This kind of autonomy feels almost foreign now, where helicopter parenting or even just the norm of always supervising kids is more common. It got me thinking: what happened to that spirit of adventure where kids were encouraged to trust their instincts, make mistakes, and learn to manage things on their own? How does modern parenting differ from that approach, and what might we be losing in the process?
The 80s Formula: Independence Through Adventure
In the 80s and 90s, many movies embraced a certain formula: kids were the protagonists, the parents were either absent or sidelined, and the adventure unfolded as the child faced challenges on their own. Think of Sarah navigating the Labyrinth, Bastian taking the reins of the world in The NeverEnding Story, or David in Flight of the Navigator, alone in a foreign environment, figuring out how to get home. These kids weren’t being supervised at every turn; they were trusted to face enormous, often fantastical, challenges without adult intervention.
This formula wasn't just a way to make the story more thrilling—it reflected a parenting style that was more prevalent back then. Many of us who grew up in those decades recall long afternoons spent biking to friends' houses, navigating neighborhood disputes, or simply being out of the house without a clear itinerary. Parents trusted us to manage things, and through those experiences, we learned a lot about the world and ourselves.
The "Always-On" Mentality
Fast forward to today, and the landscape has shifted dramatically. The concept of "free-range parenting" is often met with hesitation or outright criticism. A child alone at the playground might raise eyebrows, and parents often feel pressured to constantly supervise or intervene. There's an underlying fear—whether from social judgment, safety concerns, or the overwhelming desire to protect—that limits the kind of freedom we experienced back then. But this shift might have more consequences than we realize.
The Importance of Independence in Child Development
Research backs up the idea that independence is crucial for children's development. Psychologists have long advocated for children to have opportunities to navigate challenges on their own, which fosters problem-solving skills, resilience, and confidence. A study published by the American Psychological Association highlights how overprotective parenting, often called "helicopter parenting," can lead to increased anxiety and decreased life satisfaction in children as they grow up .
By allowing kids to take measured risks and handle situations independently, we give them the chance to build trust in their own abilities. They learn how to make decisions, manage failures, and solve problems—all essential life skills. This concept of autonomy is supported by Self-Determination Theory, which emphasizes that autonomy (alongside competence and relatedness) is a fundamental psychological need for well-being . Without these opportunities, children may struggle with self-regulation and confidence later in life.
Learning Through Failure
A key element of this independence is the ability to fail. In many of those 80s films, the protagonists faced setbacks—often big ones. Bastian had to overcome his own insecurities, Sarah faced her own mistakes in the Labyrinth, and David had to navigate the complexities of time travel and alien life alone. These failures were critical to their growth, and that’s true for children today too. When we prevent failure, we rob kids of the opportunity to learn how to cope with it.
In modern times, failure is often avoided, either by swooping in to solve the problem or by over-structuring children's lives. Yet, failure is one of the best teachers. As author and psychologist Dr. Jessica Lahey discusses in The Gift of Failure, children need the space to experience and navigate disappointment in order to develop resilience and a sense of competence . Failure builds grit, and grit leads to perseverance, qualities that serve children throughout their lives.
The Balance
So, how do we balance the safety concerns of today with the independence that fostered growth in previous generations? It’s not about letting go completely, but rather about creating opportunities for children to face challenges, make decisions, and experience the consequences of those decisions without constant adult intervention.
Here are some strategies to encourage independence in a modern context:
Structured Freedom: Set boundaries, but within those boundaries, let kids roam. Maybe they can walk to the playground alone, but they have a check-in time. Or allow them to manage their school projects without stepping in to fix things unless asked.
Risk-Taking in Safe Environments: Encourage your child to take risks in safe, controlled environments. This might be as simple as letting them climb higher at the playground or navigate a disagreement with a friend without intervening right away.
Problem-Solving Opportunities: Resist the urge to immediately solve problems for your child. If they come to you with a challenge, ask guiding questions to help them figure out their own solution. This empowers them to trust their instincts.
Encourage Self-Sufficiency: Tasks like making their own lunch, walking to school, or even navigating a public space alone (age-appropriate, of course) can build a sense of responsibility and autonomy. Small wins build larger ones over time.
Modeling Independence: Children often learn from watching us. If we demonstrate problem-solving, risk-taking, and managing failure with resilience, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviors.
Trusting Our Kids to Grow
The adventures in Flight of the Navigator, The NeverEnding Story, and Labyrinth were fantastical, but at their core, they represented something much more grounded: the belief that kids are capable of more than we often give them credit for. Independence is scary, yes, but it’s also vital. It’s how children learn to trust their instincts, solve problems, and grow into resilient, confident adults.
While modern parenting has introduced valid concerns, finding ways to incorporate independence—structured, safe, and appropriate—can help children grow in ways that constant supervision can’t. It’s time we give them back a little bit of that 80s magic.
